Do You Suffer From L.E.E.?

You know? Low Elf Esteem?

That feeling of shyness/fear/anxiety when playing online with folks? It’s very similar to what you may feel in everyday life, obviously mmo-flavored of course. *grin*

All joking aside, this does effect gamers that play on any kind of server. Some folks tend to be wallflowers, others pretty much recluses. To those that like to role-play but still feel awkward or downright uncomfortable in some social situations - it’s a pain.

You would think having an avatar in a mmo online game would give folks a better “shield” towards this, but it is still is a problem for some. This can be even worse for Role-players, due to trying to stay IC (in-character). Of course RP mileage may vary.

Maybe not you - but maybe for someone your game with has L.E.E.?

Let’s say you want to play an outgoing character or personality but you still for some reason get L.E.E.? Or maybe you struggle with getting into the mix? What do you do?

We all have some issues with L.E.E. at times, just that some folks have it harder than others. Some of it is simple fear. Of saying/doing something “wrong” in someone else’s eyes. In some RP areas, as in everyday life, you can be in that situation. Perhaps it’s a struggle on what to say or how. Or the fear of embarrassing yourself… well, your avatar really.

Role-playing groups and servers can very well “breed” that sort of feeling, intentionally or not. Some folks put a value or weight on how “good” one’s RP is and generalizes/judges thereafter. Not only does that hurt newcomers to RP that would like to try - it also stagnates and damages the Role-playing Community as a whole. It also feeds into the RPer vs Non-RPer conflict, being a no win for either group.

Some people get that, others don’t.

For those that deal with times of shyness, I understand completely - I get that too at times along with some of my friends I RP with, come across in passing or just know. :) At times get like that - I sometimes get “socially antisocial”. *grin*

Here’s some ideas on some ways to possibly combat L.E.E. :

• Realize that you have value. Self worth is an important key, as it does in “Everyday Life” - and it’s also true. Everyone has something to offer! Just stay IC and understand you do not have to “prove” anything.

• Understand that no one is perfect. We all have good and bad points, hopefully most lean toward the good ones. Do your best and roll with the punches. No one hits a home run every time at bat. *grin*

• Do your best, and don’t beat yourself up if things don’t go as planned. Even if it didn’t go well - you tried! Apply that also when other folks make mistakes. Give them a little grace.

• Help those along that may have the same problem. Support with friends can be very helpful. Remember where you were when you started. Thank folks OOCly for their time or if they did a great job.

• Don’t be afraid to start up a conversation or enter an existing one. Look for an “in” and add to the moment. Keep some ideas written down or in your head on how your character would say and do things and expand from there. Starting sooner is easier than later but gauge the group and conversation. Hovering around can work, but folks may think you’re a stalker. *grin* Just kiddin’!

• Take small steps towards being more “outgoing” with your character and how your character’s mindset and backstory.

• Stay calm and don’t try to do too much too soon. Ease into your RP and have fun… that’s why you are playing.

• Some people see shyness as being “stuck up” or “cold”. Be aware of that and don’t be afraid to tell folks if you think maybe it’s an issue.

• Location is a key element. Around the mailboxes, vendors auction houses may not be the best placed to start a conversation as some folks are AFK or focusing on mail or items. Just keep that in mind.

• The mob scene: This is a gathering of several folks in one area role-playing. Even with experienced folk, it’s a mad house of trying to keep conversations going, keeping track of them and making sure no one gets lost. (No RP’ers left Behind! *grin* ) Understand it’s easy to lose a conversation or accidentally get ignored. Have patience and don’t get discouraged.

That’s some good ideas to work with. We all suffer from one form of L.E.E. or another, even in everyday life. Hopefully this has helped and remember not to give up.

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